How To Be A Great Dad After Divorce

3 Things Dads Need To Remember After Divorce

Divorce is difficult for any parent, but fathers often feel more confused than they care to admit. Although the court system continues changing every day, many custody cases still end in the mother’s favor. This can leave dads feeling like secondary parents or the antagonists of the relationship. Divorce lawyer Mariam Ebrahimi, Esq., serving the Loudoun county and surrounding areas in northern Virginia, would like to share some tips for dads to remember after a divorce.

Treat the Kids the Same as Before
Children usually understand explanations like, “Mom and Dad love you, but no longer love each other.” But they might not fully understand why they can’t see their dad every time they’d like. Most kids go through several changes in routine after a divorce. You or your ex may also be seeing someone new or adjusting to a new home or job. Provide stability by treating your kids the same as before, as much as possible. Keep rules and consequences consistent. If it’s possible, settle on a routine with your ex that will be followed as much as is feasible for both houses.

Stay Close
Divorce becomes more painful when a long-distance move is involved for either parent. If at all possible, stay close to your kids, if for at least six months after the divorce. This will reassure them that both parents are still accessible and will continue as vital parts of their lives. Attend your children’s school and extracurricular activities; if you and your ex aren’t amicable, you might need to rotate attendance to such events.

If you can’t stay close or visitations aren’t going to be possible or as frequent as you’d like, try to set up a schedule where you can stay in contact with your children through other medias, such as phone calls or even video chats. Be advised that this may have to be scheduled with your ex.

Be Respectful
Despite the temptation, never badmouth your ex in front of your kids. You and your ex have divorced, but your kids still love you both. They shouldn’t feel pressured to choose who the “better” parent is. Also, avoid fighting in front of the children or discussing divorce proceedings in their presence. If you need to vent about your ex, seek out a trusted friend or a counselor, not your children.

Having a qualified divorce lawyer can help with the divorce proceedings, lowering stress for you and helping you to maintain a strong relationship with your children. If you’re in the northern Virginia area, contact Mariam Ebrahimi, Esq. today for a consultation.

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